one step at a time

today

a lot happened

it feels weird when i started to feel things starts to go well

something else starts falling apart

everyone have problems

i knew that

but somehow today, i felt different about it

i thought before

its okay sacrificing myself to make others happy

but then i realised somehow, sometimes

even if i do that,

they still aren't happy

i didn't know what to do then

family problem

i can't go details but then

i don't know

i feel bad

i feel trapped

but somehow

i feel like i wanted to start deciding on things

i don't know how well i can execute all these

but i guess its worth trying

first, my family

i know i heart them but sometimes i really do not know what to do

i can't really decide now either

i feel bad

but i know i can't help

second, AHHK

i know i will feel guilty to plan this now

but my dear, i hope someday you'll see or know

i'm doing it for both of us.

especially you

my hearts wants you happy

third, HH

i'm sorry but i give up

14 years is a really long time

but as time passes, i don't think you knew me at all

and the new you, i cant compete

i wish you all the happiness in this world though

take care

fourth, AA

i wish you well.

i'm sorry i'm not that good of a friend

but i am always here if you need me

come fine me anytime okay?

last, myself

i can't pinpoint but slowly a maybe a little bit

i can feel like i am changing inside

for the better i hope

aya, remember your prayers okay

fix and upgrade yourself slowly

you'll be fine

insyaallah

dear god, i can have him on my side pls?