there are no safety net in free fall ever

what would you do when you wanna do something but you know its not a good idea and you know people would tell you not to but you know you wont listen anyway

well, i guess then just get the hell to it

lol

i kinda wanna do this one thing. seeing it makes me happy but i know in a long term and also the situation now, kinda, not the right time for it but the urge to do it is strong anyway

i haven't done it and i am still restraining myself from doing it

i'm having hard time to hold myself really

so i thought to just do it so that my inner self is satisfied and i guess if they make me sad or cry or hurt later the i just have to deal with them?

heart is already broken and hurt and sad as it is

it probably won't change much

not sure that is me being positive or indifferent or just don't care anymore

i still care i think?

and today i been praying that the thoughts of you is removed

last time i asked my feelings for you to be gone, it got worst and actually made me love you even more i started to cry again

i don't even understand myself either really

and to be honest

i don't think i want to think anymore

i feel like i kinda just wanna go with it

i guess if i love you still, then i love you still

maybe someday it will fall for someone else

maybe yes, maybe no

i don't know

i'm just tired

and scared

how can i still falling after all this time?

i miss your smile

stop coming into my dreams lol

you are killing my kokoro 

hahaha

i love you yang